Some people just amaze me. It's been a frustating day. I don't understand how mothers can just leave their children. I don't understand why I'm good enough to raise children for 13 years now but still not good enough to be acknowledged as their mother. You can be someone's mother without giving birth to them. I've done it now for many years.

Don't understand why such a double standard where child support is concerned. I'm sure if my husband had ever missed child support he would have been in jail....much less not paid any for 5 years now.

It also pisses me off that certain people who haven't even been around for years seem to come out of the woodwork when someone dies. I'm amazed that no one from the other side of the family even asked about funeral expenses or how we would pay the thousands of dollars that it cost yet felt entitled to call the funeral home to tell them what kind of funeral they wanted. People are just unbelievable!

The funeral home called and want us to come by Monday. They said they have things they didn't give us. UGGHHHHH! I don't want to go there again. It's awful. I detour so I don't even have to drive by it, I sure don't want to walk back in there. I think the smell might make me sick. I can smell it now when I think about it.

Tomorrow is 5 months without Megan. The most horrible time of my life. Megan was the greatest daughter. I don't get how God can let her be in such pain like that when such terrible people live. I miss her so much. I will never be as close to anyone as I was to her. I am so lucky that I got to have her in my life.

Okay, enough with my random thoughts......off to watch a movie with the kids.