Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I am having such a hard time. I try to be okay for my family but I don't know how much longer I can put on this fake smile. I feel like an empty shell, totally dead inside. I am haunted by images in my head. Images of poor Megan on her chair and how she must have felt at that moment. I can't get away from it!

3 comments:

Julie aka Gigi... said...

oh Christina. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I know Annie had to go through this after Isabelle's near- drowning. She had horrible images in her mind for a while. I am praying that God will, over time, take those images away, and give you a picture of what Megan is like now...peaceful, smiling, carefree, happy.
I know it may not bring you comfort to know that Megan is not hurting anymore, because you want her here with you.
I will call you later.
I love you very much.

Natalie said...

Love you, Chrissie.

annb said...

Christina,
I'm so sorry you're hurting, but I can certainly understand. My family, on my mom's side, suffers with depression. I have a couple of family members who died in the same way Megan did. I believe when a person reaches such a depth that they can no longer see beyond that feeling that there must truly be a calmness and maybe relief that their pain will soon be over. I pray that you can find comfort and, although you will never forget, bring all the wonderful memories forward and regard them as her treasure left behind.
In His Love and Blessings,
annb